Saturday, May 23, 2009

the customer is NOT always right: part quatre

The last story sparked a memory, some people might wonder why I have two police phone numbers on speed dial on my phone. #2 is my university police department, #3 is metropolitan police.

But how did it get this way?

Was it the crazy homeless man that wants to kill me that caused this to occur? Nope it was a man that was convinced I was trying to cheat him out of twenty cents that led him to threaten me and my store.

It was all because of a brownie. Yes readers, A BROWNIE.

And this is what went down.

***

L = lunatic
B = bean (on register, also the girl I close most often with)
V = Valerie, having a smooth day until L spewed threats.

***

B = (comes over and talks to me as Im making three drinks), Hey V, um… this guy says I am ripping him off and now he is refusing to pay but he already started eating the brownie… he wants to talk to you.

V = (looks over to L in the corner, muttering to himself.) Sir I will be right with you I just need to finish these lattes ok? It will take me thirty seconds. (Finishes up drinks and I walk over to L).
Ok sir what can I help you with today.

L = Well I am not paying for this because she (points to B) is ripping me off and that is illegal.

V = Im sorry sir I dont quite understand, can you explain this to me a little more?

L = I bring in two dollars, I see brownie says 1.75 so with tax that is supposed to be 1.93. Am I right?

V = Of course that is 10% sales tax on 1.75 so (does math) you are correct.

L = Well she (points again) says it is 1.95 and that the total is 2.15. So Im not going to pay she is ripping me off.

V = Ok well I am going to see what is going on with the computer, because you see we just hit a button, and sometimes they increase prices and they dont tell us and we dont realize because we dont check the signs every day… they are supposed to send us new signs when they increase prices. (checks computer) Ok sir it is ringing up as 1.95 but I am going to give you a .20 discount so you pay the price as advertised. So that will be 1.93 please.

L = (reluctantly gives me money and points at me, literally three inches away from my face) you know what you are doing is illegal I could sue this whole store and get you shut down and you would be fired and homeless.

V = Sir you are paying for the price you see so that is not illegal, and now that I know the sign is wrong I am going to turn that 1.75 into a 1.95 this way this confusion does not happen again.

L = I CAN STILL SUE AND GET THIS PLACE SHUT DOWN. DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM? I CAN GET YOU FIRED IN A SECOND (points to B) AND YOU TOO. WHAT YOU ARE DOING IS ILLEGAL.

V = *totally taken aback by this craziness* sir are you threatening me?

L = I SHOULD CALL THE COPS ON YOU

V = you know what thats ok, ill go call them now for you so they can escort you off the premises and you will have to fill out some paperwork.

L = ILL BE WAITING OUTSIDE. BUT ILL TELL THEM WHAT YOU ARE DOING AND YOU WILL BE FIRED!

V = ok they will be here soon.

***

So I call my university police department. As a student working at a starbucks on campus they respond very fast especially with threats. Ahh at least my tuition money is going somewhere (well technically my scholarship money cause I only pay for housing… but whatever). They arrive literally in a minute. (they are two blocks away haha)

When they get here they L turns into a perfect gentleman… saying hello how are you officer I am L and I am such and such and a starbucks coffee company shareholder. The police officer looks at me and Im like yeah this is the guy that caused a scene and threatened me and my store. And the cop goes all bad ass on him.

Cop = Man you cant go threatening to get people fired and saying youll shut the store down. THAT is illegal. She gave you the price you saw, which is more than I would do I would have thrown you out. Now come over with me. You are going to fill out some paperwork that bars you from this starbucks and the school campus. We take threats against our students very seriously so do not come back.

L’s face was priceless, like ME I AM THE ENTITLED SHAREHOLDER HOW CAN I BE BARRED?

Lesson: just because you are a shareholder does not make you can fire me or shut a store down. I fixed the mistake when it was brought to my attention, your freak out was uncalled for.

I couldnt help but smirk at this guy as I walked back into the store. The smirk had a clear victory aura to it. I know I am a horrible person. But hey, no one deserves to be threatened.

***

After the cop dealt with L he came inside for a coffee, and he told me Val, (yes we are on first name basis because I have had him escort other people out before) I think you need to put our number on speed dial.

And from that day forward. #2 and #3 on my cell is especially reserved for law enforcement. Because we have that special of a relationship.

***

Up Next: a break from the why the customer is wrong theme and on to the homeless man and ex partner who want me dead. Those are fun ones!

AND THEN BACK TO THE CUSTOMER IS WRONG THEME: how valerie was called a racist bitch by a customer because i did not give him his drink for free.

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